Father Flanagans has closed, Yesterday 21st April was our last day in business for sometime. It was a crazy night. So busy that from 6pm till 2am i could barely rest. Had to take 4 pain killers to go thru the day. It was so busy, had runaway bills had unreasonable customers had nonsenscial people, mainly my friends. Glasses Broke, People Puked, Money Earned,Big Tips. This because all drinks were going at $10 and everyone made their money worth. Gave away a few drinks or alot of drink rather. Many wrong orders had to drink them myself. It became all crazy when drinks were on the house from 11am till closing. Everyone went wild. And thank god most people were in good spirits and understood the situation.
Its a pity that the place is closing down thougg, was actually kind of fun working there, got to know the staff better started to talk more to them and could actually spend my weekends doing something postive and need not go out. Maybe ill go over to BQ bar, one of their co-ownership, or maybe ill find somewhere else to work. But then again the atmosphere of the place has been good and the staff has been very accomodative. Many people from other pubs and bars said the said thing. Oh well at least i still can meet up with them on other days to go wherever.
Well ive worked at father flanagans for 6months and it was a good experience and good place to be at. Hopefully it wil re-open again soon.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
I have a wall you cannot see
Because it's deep inside of me.
It blocks my heart on every side
And helps emotions there to hide.
You can't reach in,
I can't reach out,
You wonder what it's all about.
The wall i built that you can't see
Results from insecurity.
Each time my tender heart was hurt
The scars within grew worse and worse.
So stone by stone,
I built a wall,
That's now so thick it will not fall
Please understand that it's not you-
Continue trying to break through.
I want so much to show myself
And love from you will really help.
So bit by bit,
Chip at my wall
Till stone by stone it starts to fall.
I know the process will be slow-
It's never easy to let go
Of hurts and failures long ingrained
Upon one's heart from years of pain.
I's so afraid
To let you in;
I know i might get hurt again.
I try so hard to break the wall
But seem to get nowhere at all
For stone upon each stone i've stacked,
And left between then not a crack.
The only way
To make it fall is imperfections in the wall.
I did the best i could to build
A perfect wall, but there are still
A few small flaws, which are the key
To breaking through the wall to me.
Please use each flaw
To cause a crack
To knock a stone off of the stack.
Because it's deep inside of me.
It blocks my heart on every side
And helps emotions there to hide.
You can't reach in,
I can't reach out,
You wonder what it's all about.
The wall i built that you can't see
Results from insecurity.
Each time my tender heart was hurt
The scars within grew worse and worse.
So stone by stone,
I built a wall,
That's now so thick it will not fall
Please understand that it's not you-
Continue trying to break through.
I want so much to show myself
And love from you will really help.
So bit by bit,
Chip at my wall
Till stone by stone it starts to fall.
I know the process will be slow-
It's never easy to let go
Of hurts and failures long ingrained
Upon one's heart from years of pain.
I's so afraid
To let you in;
I know i might get hurt again.
I try so hard to break the wall
But seem to get nowhere at all
For stone upon each stone i've stacked,
And left between then not a crack.
The only way
To make it fall is imperfections in the wall.
I did the best i could to build
A perfect wall, but there are still
A few small flaws, which are the key
To breaking through the wall to me.
Please use each flaw
To cause a crack
To knock a stone off of the stack.
Easter Sunday
Finally the 40 days of abstaining from meat is over. I actually managed to do it, for forty days i didnt touch or eat any kind of meat. I was on a vegetarian diet and it wasnt that bad. I manage to do it even with my friends and family memebers having meat for meals all the time. At times my mum would forget and cook something for me with meat in it and i just manage to resist the temptation and dont eat. But somehow i dont feel as good as or dont feel like ive achieved something by doing eat. Although i did it for a good cause.
Anyways had dinner on sunday where family members and some of the inlaws came over. Wasnt very chatty with any of them, maybe because i havent been around much to talk about stuff. Somehow everyone who saw me kept asking me wether i was ok and if i needed to talk i can talk to them. Felt weird.
My aunt from America called and finally after nearly 8 months i manage to talk to her. She did the same thing, asked if i was ok and needed someone to talk to. She said when her husband visited and went back he told her that he noticed that i didnt talk much and that i was not my usual self. She talked to me and told me how her kids misses me and that they will be here next month. She said that they always talk about us here and cant wait to come down. I cant wait to see them as well. She asked if i was just saying that im ok or wether i really am ok. I dont know that answer myself. She asked if i was happy. And i told her the truth. That im not.
Sometimes happiness has been missing in your life for such a long time that you forget how it is to be happy. You forget the feeling of happiness in you. You see people around you happy and your happy for them but only wish it could be you being happy. I've lost the feeling of happiness and lost the feeling of joy in me. I can do stuff and make people happy which i always do, but i dont feel the same like before. Recently my cousin has been staying over and ive been buying for her gifts and bringing her out and playing with her and doing all sorts of things for her. Which dont get me wrong, i love to do but somehow the feeling is different.
I've yet to let anyone know how i really feel. No one that i know of who can listen and understand and advice. When i do find that person. It'll be good to be able to open up rather than keeping things all bottled inside.
From easter being a happy occasion of celebrating and being happy, only i can make it turn sour.
Anyways had dinner on sunday where family members and some of the inlaws came over. Wasnt very chatty with any of them, maybe because i havent been around much to talk about stuff. Somehow everyone who saw me kept asking me wether i was ok and if i needed to talk i can talk to them. Felt weird.
My aunt from America called and finally after nearly 8 months i manage to talk to her. She did the same thing, asked if i was ok and needed someone to talk to. She said when her husband visited and went back he told her that he noticed that i didnt talk much and that i was not my usual self. She talked to me and told me how her kids misses me and that they will be here next month. She said that they always talk about us here and cant wait to come down. I cant wait to see them as well. She asked if i was just saying that im ok or wether i really am ok. I dont know that answer myself. She asked if i was happy. And i told her the truth. That im not.
Sometimes happiness has been missing in your life for such a long time that you forget how it is to be happy. You forget the feeling of happiness in you. You see people around you happy and your happy for them but only wish it could be you being happy. I've lost the feeling of happiness and lost the feeling of joy in me. I can do stuff and make people happy which i always do, but i dont feel the same like before. Recently my cousin has been staying over and ive been buying for her gifts and bringing her out and playing with her and doing all sorts of things for her. Which dont get me wrong, i love to do but somehow the feeling is different.
I've yet to let anyone know how i really feel. No one that i know of who can listen and understand and advice. When i do find that person. It'll be good to be able to open up rather than keeping things all bottled inside.
From easter being a happy occasion of celebrating and being happy, only i can make it turn sour.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Good Friday!!
Was suppose to be mourning or rather somewhat like not enjoying yourself but was a diff thing altogether. After going to church, came home and changed and met the rest of them as they were going jb. Kind of a big group 15 people. Quite fun having such a big group nearly every1 was there except for those who were working. I already sinned so i mite as well sin all the way instead of holding back. Went over for just a short while after that we came back and all of us headed over to regency house, one of our friends service apartments. Stayed over till morning before heading to church again.The service apartment was quite nice, infact very nice. No one dared to destroy anything or mess the place up. Haha for once everyone gave a damn. Oh well at least i maximized my weekend even with my eye like that and even though i look like Rocky. Should do different stuff more often so that we can liven up our life, or entertain ourselves.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Swollen Eye
My eye is swollen. And its damn bad and i can barely open my eye. The top of the left eye. Anyone or everyone who sees me will ask what happend to my eye. Cant sleep cant stay awake, cant do anything. One by one im getting all the diffrent kind of illness. And this time i get it during the long weekend, how lucky am i. Haiz some people have just no luck at all. Anyways i seriously have to go to see a doctor for the eye thing, before something starts to grow. 2 of my friends had eye infections recently. And they said treat it while it aint so bad yet. Anyway cant rite much hurting badly. Will write more soon
Monday, April 2, 2007
Fruitful Weekend.
The past weekend was good, actually did something positive. A few of us manage to get up early and make our way to the beach to rollerblade and cycle. It was actually quite fun with such a group. There were about 6-8 of us and we manage to go quite abit and no one held any1 back. Its feels good to do something healthy and diffrent for a change. Finally ive found new rollerblading kaki's. Though it still hurts badly when i blade or cycle or exercise, ill still do it anyway. I enjoy it and now there are few more people who want to do it aswell. It would have been fun if some others were there, maybe next time round. Or can go on diffrent days.Or even twice a week. Next week though the plans are diffrent, but it sounds fun. Thank god you people enjoy outdoor activities. haha. Oh well till the next outdoor activity, please dont tua, lets do this regularly.
Relationships..
Life is never easy going it always has its ups and downs, but somehow or another life is in such a way that when your on the upside and things are going well for you, somethings is bound to happen so that your will be on the down side. Is it a test?wether we are able to handle it or isit just meant to happen so that we have a bigger brighter future ahead of us. You never know. In circumstances like these, you never know what to do, you never know whats best for you. Your afraid that if you choose one, it mite be a mistake and regret it.
Relationships are not easy neither are they hard. As long as 2 are happy and when i say happy i mean really happy then you will do things more postively. But of coz not all realtionships last. Some people get tired of their other half. Some start to ponder wether they still love them as strongly as before. Others give excuses because they cant cope with the demands or just plain simply want out.
When it ends, one of you are bound to be more hurt than the other. And your thoughts will run wildly. You will start to think of all the craziest possible things that you can think of. Why did it happen? What went wrong?What did i do? Did i not do enough? its common for all these thoughts and when you hurt badly and have free time it takes like forever to heal.
Many people will give you phrases like "it its meant to be,its meant to be" or " if you love the person let him/her go and if he/she comes back then she's the one" and many others but its simple. I may not be an expert in relationships, but its simple as if the person is willing to at least fight for you or fight to slavage something i feel its already something good. Because after all many people nowdays just give up without a fight or just plainly give excuses which may be valid but then again they are excuses.
How isit that we can always give advice to people but never seem to take our own? Ever had a situation that you were in and asked someone for advice, only for the next time when your friend is in a situation to ask you the same thing and you give advice. Its good to seek advice from others, but it will be better if you take the advice of others and what you would tell others if they were in the situation. How to handle a situation? or How to get through with it?Every setback is hard to take and at times you cant handle it alone. Thats why you always have people around who you can talk to. People who care. They may not show it but silently they do. They actually give a shit. Don't feel like everything is against you and that the whole world is going wrong. Because it isnt, its just a small setback.
Misinterpreting things is very common nowdays. And it always happens when people start to assume stuff. For instance, after a break up your sad and depressed and your other half is out with friends and somehow you manage to find out that he/she isnt feeling that sad and actually having fun. You start to get angry and hurt even more. But did you stop to think that maybe the same could be for you. That you go meet your friends because you dont want to be lonely and then they do stuff that cheer you up and make you feel a little better for that short moment of time. Its common to feel better when your out and suddenly, you go back to square 1 and feel all shitty when your home or alone.
They say time heals everything. So occupy your time with something. Try not to keep yourself to free to think about stuff. Do whatever makes you happy even if you've got no mood. TRY!!!. Eventually everything will be ok or better.
**I wrote this post for someone. To help that person and hopefully it will help her to get over it easily.You know who you are.
Like i said, its easy to give advice. But can you take your own advice? I doubt i ever did any of those stuff i just wrote and i'm not sure how much of it ill do. Don't be like me. Go one better.
Happinss cannot come from without.
It must come from within.
Relationships are not easy neither are they hard. As long as 2 are happy and when i say happy i mean really happy then you will do things more postively. But of coz not all realtionships last. Some people get tired of their other half. Some start to ponder wether they still love them as strongly as before. Others give excuses because they cant cope with the demands or just plain simply want out.
When it ends, one of you are bound to be more hurt than the other. And your thoughts will run wildly. You will start to think of all the craziest possible things that you can think of. Why did it happen? What went wrong?What did i do? Did i not do enough? its common for all these thoughts and when you hurt badly and have free time it takes like forever to heal.
Many people will give you phrases like "it its meant to be,its meant to be" or " if you love the person let him/her go and if he/she comes back then she's the one" and many others but its simple. I may not be an expert in relationships, but its simple as if the person is willing to at least fight for you or fight to slavage something i feel its already something good. Because after all many people nowdays just give up without a fight or just plainly give excuses which may be valid but then again they are excuses.
How isit that we can always give advice to people but never seem to take our own? Ever had a situation that you were in and asked someone for advice, only for the next time when your friend is in a situation to ask you the same thing and you give advice. Its good to seek advice from others, but it will be better if you take the advice of others and what you would tell others if they were in the situation. How to handle a situation? or How to get through with it?Every setback is hard to take and at times you cant handle it alone. Thats why you always have people around who you can talk to. People who care. They may not show it but silently they do. They actually give a shit. Don't feel like everything is against you and that the whole world is going wrong. Because it isnt, its just a small setback.
Misinterpreting things is very common nowdays. And it always happens when people start to assume stuff. For instance, after a break up your sad and depressed and your other half is out with friends and somehow you manage to find out that he/she isnt feeling that sad and actually having fun. You start to get angry and hurt even more. But did you stop to think that maybe the same could be for you. That you go meet your friends because you dont want to be lonely and then they do stuff that cheer you up and make you feel a little better for that short moment of time. Its common to feel better when your out and suddenly, you go back to square 1 and feel all shitty when your home or alone.
They say time heals everything. So occupy your time with something. Try not to keep yourself to free to think about stuff. Do whatever makes you happy even if you've got no mood. TRY!!!. Eventually everything will be ok or better.
**I wrote this post for someone. To help that person and hopefully it will help her to get over it easily.You know who you are.
Like i said, its easy to give advice. But can you take your own advice? I doubt i ever did any of those stuff i just wrote and i'm not sure how much of it ill do. Don't be like me. Go one better.
Happinss cannot come from without.
It must come from within.
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