Sadly Things Have Changed

Its funny how things have changed. We use to be so close, all our little secrets were always undisclosed. A friend i could count on whenever im in need. Always the first i would call whenever ive got doubts or just needed to go out. Never fail to put a smile on my face with your jokes or funny ways,You also were the one to always brighten up my day. I used to be able to let out and say what i wanted to say. I still have friends whom i can talk to but never say what i really want to say.

I dont talk to people on the phone till late and kind of got used to that already but sometimes when you need to really talk to someone. I can no longer say i know who to call. I sit and wonder who can i call then i think its better just to be all alone and not speak it up. I missed the old days where we used to hang out, even if it was just for a drink and some gossip. No more are the times when ive got someone who actually wants to do same stuff that i do. Ive tried to accept it but its hard to take in

Now when we meet we dont even talk. Not a single word not even the "hi" or "bye". Its really sad to see that this is what it has come to be. My closest friend ive ever had. If lost many friends along the way and now its another one. Dont know whats going on with your life or what your up to. A friend so close yet so much stuff i dont even know. What hurts the most is the things we use to do, i could find no other friend whom treat me like you do. I use to miss my friend, now im just missing a friend. I hope it doesnt have to be like this for long it can get kind of lonely sometimes.

I see that your looking good, happy infact. Its good to see you happy and doing good. Everyone deserves to be happy and you're definetly one of them. I'm happy that your happy and things are going well with your life, you seem to be enjoying your day to day life. I hope that your happy and your family is doing good. You look healthy and thats a good sign. It was nice seeing you again though we didnt talk at all and didnt make any eye contact. Hope to see you soon and wish you all the best.

Broke!!

I've been reading the book Jill lent me, and im abit confused because, everything the book said that you were suppose to do, I did. And im not kidding you, every single thing. This just shows that sometimes not everyone is right about everything,no matter how highly qualified they are.
I'm broke again, but this time i know why, i helped out the family with some finances since the situation seems to be quite bad. Oh well i can last without money, been there and done that a few times already. All i need is my dvds and my games and my book, time will eventually pass. Luckily Candice got us this job next week, so its still alrite. Nothing much to write also nowdays,. like i said my life isnt as happening as people make it seem. Come live with me, ull find out what a bore i am. I just hope i get alot of money soon, because ive got alot of plans to do alot of stuff. And that needs money, if not ill be stuck just bumming around doing nothing.

Bad Weekend

Haiz. This weekend was a bad one. No matter what i did, everything went wrong. All my luck was really bad. I dont know why but somehow things keep happening to nice people. Even if you dont do any harm to anyone or your nice to the whole world, Someway or another bad things will happen to you. After that my mood was spoiled, sadly i took out my anger on one of my friends. Felt abit bad after that, but still get easily irritated and small things will keep pushing my buttons. The world is unfair, and unjust. Nothing is fair in this world. So for now on im just going to live for myself and noone else. I'm sorry man. Whats the use of being nice and still geting bad things in return? For what? when u dont deserve any of this. Like i said. Life sucks and is unfair, but we just have to deal with it every fucking single day.

Finally!

Been coming on to write so many times but the stupid website for some apparent reason has been down. Oh well as usual i go to camp on mon and tue and from wed till the following monday im out. My dvds from JB was suppose to arrive yest, the guy came but we werent free when we called him again his phone is off. If only i had the dvds then i need not find a way to entertain myself or past time. Got a whole shit load of them plus ive been playing all the games that i bought aswell. Thats a good sign, hopefully i can save money this way. Cant seem to find a place where we can watch the Man United vs Chelsea game. Doubt will do anything till late. Cant wait for my cousins to come down. After 2 years they are finally back. Staying for 3months plus and hopefully mite be good. Thats what they said. At least then i wont be as bored. Can occupy my time with them around.

Why is the world so fucking small?

You think your ok and then you see or hear something that makes you upset and it starts all over again. This because the world is so fucking small. No matter how much you try to not see someone, youll see that person. So i advice you all my friends and blog readers, dont try to hide. Because the more you hide or avoid someone. The more likely you'll see the person. Mood swings. Always have it and never stop having it. Only at times it gets worse. I tot i was ok, but something made me realise im not and i dont know why im not. Its a sucky feeling when your doing well and find out something that most likely you dont want to know. People will say "deal with it" or "take it as it comes" but it aint so easy. I know how it feels, so maybe next time ill prepare myself for the worst. So that i wont feel so shitty the next time round

Family

Its sad to say that im not close to anyone in my family anymore. Barely talk to my sister or brother, always quarreling with the parents. Dont like to be at home most of the time. When im at home im either in my room or asleep. Kind of wonder hw it became like this. I use to be so organised like everything in order and stuff, now im too lazy or just down right messy. Things have changed, for me its not for the better. My dad's bday at home recently, didnt do much talking. Just sit down and eat. Use to joke and talk and tell them about stuff. Dont do that anymore. I think ive still got alot bottled up inside of me and have yet to let it out and talk to anyone. Have yet to be able to open up. I actually kind of feel better keeping things to myself. Its better that nobody knows the true you or the real you rather. You never know who you can trust nowdays. You know how when youve got lots to whine or in trouble and you can turn to someone and talk or ask for advice. I use to have that friend but not anymore. And i can say ive been doing rather good not talking so much about whats going on. Just always put on the joker front and let everybody think your happy and make them all laugh and smile. Its kind of sad when u see other people close to their families and friends and you dont have that with your own. But i only blame myself for blocking people out. And oh well. thats life. just people making mistakes and not learning..just repeating them.

FAT!!!

So people have been saying that ive been putting on weight and that if i dont control myself that ill get out of hand. Thankfully enough im cautious and i stopped all my eating habits, dont snack, dont eat like chocs and oily food and all that stuff so often. Maybe i should take out my wisdom tooth then ill eat less and lose fast. But the good thing is that ive been exercising. Not as much as i used to. All my rollerblading kakis are too busy and either cant wake up. I have yet to do that for a long time. Use to go alone. But nowdays dont anymore. Maybe i should start doing it again. But cant seem to get up since my bodyclock is all spoiled. Sleep like around 8am in the morning, how to get back to the usual stuff. And always up awake tossing and turning when im bed. Maybe thats why ive put on weight, irregular sleeping hours, From now on its back to my old diet of healthy food and cutting down on my meals. Maybe then ill lose a tiny bit of weight.

April!!

Havent been here for quite some time. hah..Mainly kind of busy or when i finally get home im too tired to type anything. Well April has been a realtively good month overall. My unit went to Taiwan for overseas training and i was in Singapore as usual. I asked to be brought along but they didnt want to bring me as they thought i would be a liability to them. Josh bday just passed and it was quite fun. He had a chalet and that was madness. As usual like always, he stripped himself and went crazy. And its not a party if Josh doesnt destroy something or someone. So he had to at least punch Jerry. He needed stitches and i brought him to Changi General Hospital to get it done. Overall i think he enjoyed himself and after what happened i think he deserves a that.

Have been playing soccer regularly even though the hernia hurts badly.Like they say, you.ve only got 1 life so you got to make the best out of it. And perhaps thats another way to pass time and not spend so much money. And its healthy. For most people except me, because ill be in pain.

Busy nowdays watching dvds or just going out and hanging around doing nothing. Thats been the life for the past few months recently. Nothing exciting if you guys would want to know.