Relationships..

Life is never easy going it always has its ups and downs, but somehow or another life is in such a way that when your on the upside and things are going well for you, somethings is bound to happen so that your will be on the down side. Is it a test?wether we are able to handle it or isit just meant to happen so that we have a bigger brighter future ahead of us. You never know. In circumstances like these, you never know what to do, you never know whats best for you. Your afraid that if you choose one, it mite be a mistake and regret it.

Relationships are not easy neither are they hard. As long as 2 are happy and when i say happy i mean really happy then you will do things more postively. But of coz not all realtionships last. Some people get tired of their other half. Some start to ponder wether they still love them as strongly as before. Others give excuses because they cant cope with the demands or just plain simply want out.

When it ends, one of you are bound to be more hurt than the other. And your thoughts will run wildly. You will start to think of all the craziest possible things that you can think of. Why did it happen? What went wrong?What did i do? Did i not do enough? its common for all these thoughts and when you hurt badly and have free time it takes like forever to heal.

Many people will give you phrases like "it its meant to be,its meant to be" or " if you love the person let him/her go and if he/she comes back then she's the one" and many others but its simple. I may not be an expert in relationships, but its simple as if the person is willing to at least fight for you or fight to slavage something i feel its already something good. Because after all many people nowdays just give up without a fight or just plainly give excuses which may be valid but then again they are excuses.

How isit that we can always give advice to people but never seem to take our own? Ever had a situation that you were in and asked someone for advice, only for the next time when your friend is in a situation to ask you the same thing and you give advice. Its good to seek advice from others, but it will be better if you take the advice of others and what you would tell others if they were in the situation. How to handle a situation? or How to get through with it?Every setback is hard to take and at times you cant handle it alone. Thats why you always have people around who you can talk to. People who care. They may not show it but silently they do. They actually give a shit. Don't feel like everything is against you and that the whole world is going wrong. Because it isnt, its just a small setback.

Misinterpreting things is very common nowdays. And it always happens when people start to assume stuff. For instance, after a break up your sad and depressed and your other half is out with friends and somehow you manage to find out that he/she isnt feeling that sad and actually having fun. You start to get angry and hurt even more. But did you stop to think that maybe the same could be for you. That you go meet your friends because you dont want to be lonely and then they do stuff that cheer you up and make you feel a little better for that short moment of time. Its common to feel better when your out and suddenly, you go back to square 1 and feel all shitty when your home or alone.

They say time heals everything. So occupy your time with something. Try not to keep yourself to free to think about stuff. Do whatever makes you happy even if you've got no mood. TRY!!!. Eventually everything will be ok or better.

**I wrote this post for someone. To help that person and hopefully it will help her to get over it easily.You know who you are.

Like i said, its easy to give advice. But can you take your own advice? I doubt i ever did any of those stuff i just wrote and i'm not sure how much of it ill do. Don't be like me. Go one better.

Happinss cannot come from without.
It must come from within.

Remeber That?

I was sitting around doing nothing when suddenly i realised that i wrote down in my blog early this year a few of my new years resoultions which i intend to fullfill. Sadly i havent been keeping up to any of them. Hey at least i realised it. Its not that im not doing stuff to keep to them, its just that sometimes things dont click. Oh well the only 2 0r 3 i have been keeping to is Not taking so much, not judging people and earning money. Though its still not enough, at leat im trying. I guess i should start to work on the others pretty soon. Only 3 months of the year have gone, close to 4 but still is early. I know i still can do something about it. And yeah ill do something pretty damn soon. Kind of getting tired of having too much free time and my mind running crazy on me. Wanted to go to the library today to borrow a few books, but thank god i called in before leaving because all the books i wanted were out on loan. At least i managed to reserve it 1st and then they'll let me know when its ready. Been wanting to read these books for quite some time already. Just yet to get them. And now when ive got time to go and get them, They are not in. Thats always the case for everything. Oh well thats life. Nothing much we can do about it anyway rite.

Good Memory Sucks Sometime

Sometimes i hate the fact that ive got a very good memory, This doesnt help when because i remember stuff which ermm lets just say isnt so happy. Oh well will just have to try and forget it..all though have tried many times before and it doesnt seem to work. Went to doctors again today. This is for the pain in the back that ive been having, explained to him where it has been hurting and when it hurts. He advised that i should stop most of my activities and do some back strenghtening exercising like swimming and rowing. So looks like no more blading for me. I doubt ill go swimming because not really very good at it plus it will get kind of boring. I think ill take up rowing or kayaching after all i do have a cert for that. Maybe can do it on sunday mornings or satday mornings. Will be able to get a good work out aswell.

Tired

I'm so so so god damn tired that i cant do anything. I can barely move my body my head is spinning and i havent eaten anything yet. Sometimes i wonder if that you are meant to wake up and feel like shit. I'm so tired an had a very very tiring weekend but then again when i woke up just know knowing that ive got to do stuff, i wake up feeling like shit and dreaming of something that its the last thing i want to dream of.It kind of irritates you when it happens over and over and over again.People say that its good to dream, but its not good to dream about stuff that makes you shitty.Well now im awake and i cant be bothered if i dont sleep, not sleeping is better when you no need to wake up and feel like shit. Suddenly i feel so angry all over again, feel like i need to vent my anger on something. As usual once again. Lots of pimples are out. The outbreak is pretty bad and ermm putting on weight as usual. I should go back to my old routine where i can be so disciplined when it comes to eat sleep and everything. So that i can live a healthy lifestyle for some time.I'm just sick and tired of everything. Ask me if you need to know but im really sick and tired of everything and alot of things. Once again the cycle starts. Haiz

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My medical review today was ok, they didnt really tell me what i wanted to hear or give me much adivce. Just talked about the same old stuff and i repeated the same old stuff and told me to come back for a review in 2-3 weeks time. The dvds from JB have finally arrived, another batch will be coming in on tue or wed. It came at a good time. When i have trpuble walking and have to be in camp alot nowdays to finish up work, it did come at a very good time. For once the timing is near to perfect. Im on mc tdy and tmr which is a good thing, i get to stay home and rest. On sat and sun i volunteered myself to do some charity work which is a good thing, havent done something nice or good for a long time. Thought that ill do something nice for a change, even if its for people i dont know.

Sleep better nowdays, maybe its because of the painkillers and the medication ive been taking. And also the healthy life ive been living. Eating regularly, eating healthy, not keeping so many late nights and so on. Tmr will be going over to Jill's place to burn some stuff, movies music series and so on. All these are needed to pass time easier and pass time faster. Cant believe that good friday is less than 2 weeks away. This is a good thing of coz, i have yet to eat meat for 4 weeks.Body feels week at times but oh well i gave it up at least i didnt succumb to any temptation and am keeping to my word. Maybe next time i should start to abstain from other stuff aswell. This could be a test of good things to come. Though i cant wait to eat meat, i can do without it aswell. If someone asked me to be vegetarian for another month, i think ill be able to do it and will cope well. Mind you, im not like a vulture waiting to pounce on any meat i see. Im willing to wait because i realised that my willpower is stonger than i actually knew.

There's this book which i was reading at Lawlor's house one night i was there which was qutie intresting. Kind of forgot the name but thank fully Kelly remembered when i asked her. Seems like a good book, i think before i head down to Jill's house tmr, ill go drop by the library and see if i can get it. If its not there at least i made a trip to do something positive and erm maybe i could search for some other book which interest me.

JB Again.

Went JB again today. This time we did a fast one. We went over got our dvds, manage to find the korean drama serials that are good and many other good shows.Bought about 20 dvds. Im like a major pirate. After that we walked around ate. And boy did we have a damn good meal. First time after so long that im satisfied with what i eat. Had pain while walking ard there, lucky i brought my medication along. Sometimes the pain is so bad. Even my friends can like feel for me. Am in a lot of discomfort nowdays. No more soccer and all the sports activities that i love to do for a long long time. Sad though. Love the outdoors and love sports. Nw i cant do anything at all. This time round i was satisfied with what i got and my trip there. This time round we didnt get check when we came back. Maybe because Faith was sitting in front and she looked like a good girl and i took off my hat and combed my hair to look like a nerd..haha...not going back there for another month.Just cant wait to get my dvds. Then i can just stay at home and watch tv all the time.ahah

Cafe Del Mar

Have been working the past week and not doing any vigrous activites. Nothing at all. Kind of thought ill stay away from them since my hernia hurts quite badly. So after work on Friday i headed home before changing went to meet my aunt and uncle, before heading down to Cafe Del Mar. I took a cab from somerset all the way in because by the time it was already 2am. Was suppose to go there because Lawlor was celebrating his bday there and he kind of booked the jacuzzi and all. The taxi ride was quite good and took some time. But the most shocking thing was how when i got out of the taxi i couldnt stand. My hernia was too painful for me to stand. I had to sit by the side of the road for nearly 20mins before i could walk again. Kind of worried because i was sitting down before that and didnt do any like vigrous activities. Walked down to cafe del mar, not everyone was there. Some had already left. Maybe because it was like 2am in the morning. Was sitting on the sofa and kind of didnt move around so much, everyone was wondering why i didnt talk so much or wasnt in my normal kind of mood. Then when faith asked i eventually told her. And she was like "OH so you really are injured..those MC's are not for nothing.." ahaha. It wasnt at fun at cafe del mar, maybe because it was humid and kind of waited for something to happen or other plans. I think the best part of the nite was when i walked by the beach with liwen. Was hell of a lot cooler. And its good to catch up with close friends. After all she is my gossip and whiner buddy. haha. When home eventually because the pain was unbearable. Getting worst nowdays, hopefully they can find a cure soon. The pain killers are of no use. Doesnt help. I still feel the pain.Every Single Day. But i dont show it . Just take it quietly, not wanting to worry anyone.